Funeral instructions are a practical document that tells your family exactly what you want to happen when you die. Unlike a will — which is often not read until days after a death — funeral instructions need to be accessible immediately and should be comprehensive enough to guide every major decision your family will face.
What to Include
Body Disposition
- Burial or cremation? State your preference clearly. If you have religious or cultural requirements, note them.
- If burial: Which cemetery? Do you already own a plot? Where is the deed? Do you have a casket preference?
- If cremation: What should be done with your ashes? (scattered, interred, kept in an urn, divided among family, etc.) If scattered, where?
- If green/natural burial: Name the preferred provider or cemetery.
Funeral Home
- Do you have a preferred funeral home? Name it specifically.
- Is there a prepaid arrangement in place? Where is the contract?
- Is there an arrangement you've already documented with a funeral home?
Service Preferences
- Type of service: traditional funeral, memorial service, celebration of life, graveside service, no service
- Religious or secular? Any specific religious requirements?
- Location preference (funeral home, house of worship, park, family home, etc.)
- Preferred date/time if applicable
- Open or closed casket (if applicable)
Music
List specific songs by title and artist — not just genres. Indicate when you'd like each piece played (entrance, during service, recessional). Note whether you prefer live music, recorded music, or both.
Readings and Eulogies
- Any poems, scripture, or literary passages you want read — include the full text or source
- Who you'd like to deliver a eulogy (name specific people)
- Any notes for eulogists — stories you hope they'll share, themes you want honored
Flowers and Donations
- Flowers: preferences for type, color, or "no flowers"
- Charitable donations in lieu of flowers: name the organization and how to donate
Who to Notify
- List of people (friends, distant family, colleagues) who should be notified of your death — include contact information
- Any groups or organizations to notify (religious communities, professional associations, clubs)
Obituary
- Key information you want included: occupation, important relationships, notable achievements, hobbies
- What you'd prefer omitted
- Any specific publications where you'd like it placed
- A pre-written obituary (if you've written one)
Clothing
What do you want to wear? If your preference is specific, note where the item is located.
Reception/Gathering
- Do you want a gathering after the service? Where?
- Any food or drink preferences
- Any specific traditions you want honored
Where to Store Your Funeral Instructions
Unlike your will, funeral instructions should not be stored somewhere that requires legal steps to access. Give a copy to:
- Your executor
- Your next of kin
- Your funeral home (if arrangements are pre-made)
- A clearly labeled location in your home
Better Legacy lets you store these instructions digitally alongside your other legacy documents — accessible to your family when they need it most.
For the full picture of funeral planning, see our complete guide to planning your funeral in advance.