Pre-planning your funeral is one of the most considerate things you can do for your family. When someone dies, the people who love them are expected to make dozens of decisions — often within 24 to 48 hours — while in the deepest stages of grief. Funeral home selection, burial versus cremation, casket, service format, music, readings, obituary — every decision that you make in advance is a decision they won't have to make under emotional duress.
This guide covers everything involved in pre-planning your own funeral: the decisions to make, the documents to leave, and how to ensure your wishes are actually carried out.
Why Pre-Plan?
Beyond sparing your family difficult decisions, pre-planning offers several practical advantages:
- Your wishes are honored. Without documented instructions, your family may make choices you would not have wanted — not out of carelessness, but out of uncertainty.
- You control the costs. You can set a budget and make choices deliberately, rather than leaving your family vulnerable to upselling during an emotionally vulnerable time.
- You can pre-pay at today's prices. Funeral costs have risen consistently over the decades. Pre-paying locks in current costs, though there are important caveats (see prepaid funeral plans).
- You can document preferences that matter to you. Religious observances, music, who to notify, where to scatter ashes — details that only you know.
Key Decisions to Make
Burial or Cremation?
This is the most fundamental decision. Each has different costs, environmental impacts, and implications for how remains are handled. Our guide to burial versus cremation covers the key considerations.
If you choose cremation, additional decisions include: whether to have a casket viewing before cremation, what should be done with your ashes (interment in a cemetery, scattering, kept by family), and whether a traditional service or a different type of memorial is preferred.
If you choose burial, decisions include: cemetery location, casket type, and whether you want a grave marker and what it should say.
Type of Service
There is no single right way to honor a life. Options include:
- Traditional funeral service (typically at a funeral home or religious institution, followed by graveside committal)
- Memorial service (held separately from disposition of remains, sometimes weeks after death)
- Graveside service only
- Celebration of life (informal, can be held at any meaningful location)
- Direct disposition (no formal service — remains are handled without a gathering)
Our guide to planning a memorial service covers how to document your service preferences.
Selecting a Funeral Home
Funeral homes vary significantly in price, services, and quality. Comparing options in advance — when you're not under time pressure — leads to better decisions. See our guide to choosing a funeral home.
Costs and Funding
The average funeral in the United States costs $7,000–$12,000 or more. Understanding these costs in advance allows you to plan how they'll be funded — through life insurance, savings, or a prepaid plan. See our guides to funeral costs and budgeting and funding your funeral costs.
Eco-Friendly Options
Green burial, natural burial, aquamation, and human composting are growing alternatives that are gentler on the environment. If sustainability matters to you, explore our guide to green and eco-friendly burial options.
What to Document
Every decision you make should be written down in a document your family can find and use. Our guide on what to include in funeral instructions is a comprehensive checklist.
Key items to document include:
- Burial or cremation preference
- Funeral home preference (or prepaid arrangement details)
- Type of service and any specific religious requirements
- Music preferences
- Readings, prayers, or other service elements
- Who to notify of your death
- Obituary preferences or a pre-written obituary
- Where important documents are stored
Important: Your funeral instructions should not be stored in your will. Wills are often read days after death — too late for funeral planning. Keep your funeral instructions with a trusted person, your executor, or in a clearly labeled document at home.